if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
