And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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