its not stalking. its research.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
