i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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