I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
sarcasm needs its own font
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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