Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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