We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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