I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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