Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
