Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
