i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
