Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
