I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize