I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
