I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
