you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
