I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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