There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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