I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize