i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My bed is full of blood and feathers
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just puked most of my soul out..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
