I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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