..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
