Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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