I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
