dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize