Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
