She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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