you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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