The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
