my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I had to cum in my sink.
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