I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
