He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish I only lived at night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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