He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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