he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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