woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
