Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
