I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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