I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
