yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
