I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
