Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
