People in love make me want to vomit
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
