First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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