I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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