I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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