Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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