I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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