I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
