Dual....:-)
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
