I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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