I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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