i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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