Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
