It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
