i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
