remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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