It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
